The early adjustment to parenthood, whether for the first or a subsequent time, is tough. And never tougher than in today's modern society.
Popular culture would have us birth our babies and within days be back in our skinny jeans, fully made up and back out in the world (with a newborn in tow who hopefully won't deign to inconvenience anybody else by needing to be fed or changed, or dare to cry!) And then there is the plethora of parenting books, websites and forums, telling us how to become experts: dictating how we must breastfeed - how painful it will be if we choose to breastfeed, how we might spoil our babies if we pick them up too much - or damage them if we pick them up too little, how a routine is crucial - how it's impossible and unhealthy to try to get a newborn into routine, how much easier it is if we choose to sleep with our babies - or what a terrible risk that would be. And so it goes on……!
No wonder new mums can feel daunted.
And to cap it all we have lost our 'village'. Women are not meant to mother in isolation hence the old saying 'it takes a village to raise a child'. Historically we would have had elders: mothers, aunties, grandmothers all supporting us, sharing their wisdom and nurturing us physically and emotionally as we made a far more gentle transition to motherhood. Somebody to cook nourishing meals for us, to do the practical household chores, to entertain older siblings and to allow us to recover physically and emotionally from pregnancy and birth as we gently learned to feed, care for and bond with this new little being - unhurried, gently and in our own unique and 'good enough' way.
Modern living means we are often far from our own extended families, women work long hours often right up to the time of their baby's birth, allowing them little chance to have got to know other local female neighbours who might have become that 'village'.
And so the majority of us believe that we must soldier on alone - isn't that what everybody else does? Put on a brave face and just get on. Asking for help? Surely that would be a sign of weakness or an admission that we can't cope.
Well I believe that all new mums deserve that support. In fact I believe that it is vital for the wellbeing of the whole family and seeking it should be viewed as strength rather than a weakness - a true investment.
So please ladies - I know that it is difficult when you are pregnant to see past the birth itself. But please, take the time now to consider what you might need in those early days and weeks as you adjust to being a mother. Do you have friends who can prepare you lovely healthy meals, or take a sibling out for a few hours, or just come and sit with baby as you take a much needed sleep or shower, or be a shoulder to cry on for the day's that are too hard. People love to help - chances are you only have to ask.
And if you don't have that - because family are far off - or friends are still working or busy with their own brood, or you fear that the help may come with uncalled for 'advice' or judgments, then maybe I can help.
I have no personal agenda, no wish to impart my views on how you should parent, just a passion to ensure that you feel supported, validated and nurtured as you make the wonderful, yet challenging transition to motherhood in your own unique way.
My postnatal services can be booked on an hourly basis - in conjunction with my Birth Services or separately. Gift vouchers for Postnatal Services are available and make a great Baby Shower or new baby gift.
You deserve all the support that you need!